The Dangers of Missionary Dating
Why Love Alone Isn’t Enough to Change a Heart
The First Step: Pursuing Christ-Centered Relationships Before Marriage
The Dangers of Missionary Dating
Why Love Alone Isn’t Enough to Change a Heart
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Missionary dating — the idea that you can date (or even marry) an unbeliever and eventually "win them to Christ" — is one of the most dangerous lies Christian singles face. It sounds noble. It feels hopeful. But it’s a trap wrapped in good intentions.
14 Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? (ESV)
This isn’t about superiority. It’s about spiritual survival.
What Is Missionary Dating?
Missionary dating is when a believer enters into a romantic relationship with someone who does not share their faith, hoping that love, patience, or influence will eventually lead to the unbeliever's salvation.
At its core, it’s an emotional gamble — one where your heart, your spiritual health, and your future marriage are all on the line.
Why It’s So Dangerous
1. You’re Ignoring God’s Clear Warning
God’s Word isn’t vague about this. Being "yoked" is not just about sharing a belief system — it’s about being deeply tied together in direction, values, and mission.Ignoring this principle isn’t just risky — it’s disobedient.
2. You Will Compromise — Even If You Don’t Intend To
The gravitational pull of love can cause you to:
Soften your convictions
Prioritize your relationship over your relationship with God
Stay silent when you should speak truth
Allow sin to slowly seep in under the name of "love"
20 Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm. (ESV)
3. It Puts Impossible Pressure on You
You are not the Holy Spirit. You cannot save anyone. Only God can draw a heart to Himself. When you tie your future to someone's spiritual change, you’re building a foundation on fantasy, not faith.
What Happens If They Convert?
Even if the person you date "becomes a Christian" during the relationship, you must discern:
Was the conversion genuine or pressured?
Are they growing in Christ on their own?
Are they walking in repentance and surrender, or simply conforming to stay in the relationship?
Salvation is God's work, not a strategic byproduct of romance.
Better Questions to Ask
Instead of "Can I bring them to Christ?", ask:
Does this person already love Christ more than they could ever love me?
Are we running the same race, or am I dragging them behind?
Is their faith visible, growing, and rooted — or is it circumstantial?
16 You will recognize them by their fruits. Are grapes gathered from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? (ESV)
Final Thought
God isn’t trying to rob you of love by telling you not to missionary date — He’s protecting you for a love that’s rooted in Him.True love doesn’t pull you away from God — it pushes you closer. The right person will already be surrendered to Christ before they’re ever committed to you.Wait for the one who doesn’t just tolerate your faith — but who breathes it, builds it, and burns with it alongside you.
Ask Yourself:
Have I ever justified a relationship because of its potential rather than its present fruit?
Am I more afraid of being alone than I am of walking outside of God’s will?
What does it say about my trust in God if I believe I need to save someone in order to be loved?
Join the Discussion:
Have you ever been in or considered a missionary dating relationship? What helped you step away — or what do you wish someone had told you sooner? Let’s talk about it.
#TheWholyChristian #TheDatingChristian #MissionaryDating #EquallyYoked #FaithfulLove #BiblicalDating #ChristCenteredRelationships